Having spent some years living in Hebburn, it’s cheering for me to hear that Jason Cook’s sitcom, Hebburn, has been commissioned by BBC2 for a series. Often seen as the poor tip of South Tyneside, Hebburn has it’s own culture and local legends and it’s nice to see the town put on the TV map. Inevitably it will be compared to The Likely Lads, but with it’s share of real life characters and locations, and with a rich seam of North East humour on every Metro platform, bar stool and street corner as inspiration, I’m sure Hebburn will provide no shortage of plots to keep the show fresh and modern.
It’s long overdue for Hebburn to get it’s chance to shine, and on the national TV stage. In these troubled economic times it’s refreshing that it’ll be something from South Tyneside that will make people laugh rather than add to their misery.
Up and down the length of the country religious councillors are reeling at the news that religious worship at the beginning of local council meetings was to be banned after a ruling by the High Court today. Councillors from across the political spectrum were consistent in their condemnation of the changes.
Tarquin Mossweed, Twitchester council’s Vegan Party leader was mildly perturbed by the turn of events.
“Yesterday we opened the council meeting with some crystal chanting and offerings of twigs to our spirit guides to help us in our important decisions. Without spiritual guidance, we may never have come to a decision to commit to introduce chill out rooms for our traffic wardens.”
“Tomorrow, without communing with the spirit of the earth mother we will struggle to decide what will be on the council canteen’s breakfast menu, porridge or porage.”
Councillor Zoltan Hellhound from Fatty-on-Picklesfat, was more forthright.
“This is a clear abuse of our human rights. How can a council be expected to perform without sacrificing a virgin to Satan before each meeting?”
Bradyork BNP councillor Schmidt Goering was concise in his opinion.
“They would never dare say that to Muslims. Would they? Eh? You know what I’m talking about.”
Jeremy Lespotty, UKIP councillor for South Spinelesside was clear on who was responsible for the changes.
“This is an example of how Europe interferes with our British customs.”
“And immigrants. They’re up to something too.
However, the Church of England was much more pragmatic about the issue. Bishop Hugh Spoutwell-Nonsensington of Spoon said
“Really, there’s no scriptural reference to Jesus’ opinions about street lighting, road gritting, wheelie bins or community engagement forums.”
“Indeed he was quite specific that people should keep their prayers to themselves.”
Since the Pope is now getting all uppity again, this time in Spain, moaning yet again about secularism and yet again comparing it to fascism, it seems right that another Pope song gets an air, from Martin Pearson and John Thompson, although whilst this one’s about the last Pope, most of the points still hit target.
As scripted by Quentin Tarantino.
Created AIDS, polio and webuyanycar.com?
Not a nice one.