No deistic counsel in council
Up and down the length of the country religious councillors are reeling at the news that religious worship at the beginning of local council meetings was to be banned after a ruling by the High Court today. Councillors from across the political spectrum were consistent in their condemnation of the changes.
Tarquin Mossweed, Twitchester council’s Vegan Party leader was mildly perturbed by the turn of events.
“Yesterday we opened the council meeting with some crystal chanting and offerings of twigs to our spirit guides to help us in our important decisions. Without spiritual guidance, we may never have come to a decision to commit to introduce chill out rooms for our traffic wardens.”
“Tomorrow, without communing with the spirit of the earth mother we will struggle to decide what will be on the council canteen’s breakfast menu, porridge or porage.”
Councillor Zoltan Hellhound from Fatty-on-Picklesfat, was more forthright.
“This is a clear abuse of our human rights. How can a council be expected to perform without sacrificing a virgin to Satan before each meeting?”
Bradyork BNP councillor Schmidt Goering was concise in his opinion.
“They would never dare say that to Muslims. Would they? Eh? You know what I’m talking about.”
Jeremy Lespotty, UKIP councillor for South Spinelesside was clear on who was responsible for the changes.
“This is an example of how Europe interferes with our British customs.”
“And immigrants. They’re up to something too.
However, the Church of England was much more pragmatic about the issue. Bishop Hugh Spoutwell-Nonsensington of Spoon said
“Really, there’s no scriptural reference to Jesus’ opinions about street lighting, road gritting, wheelie bins or community engagement forums.”
“Indeed he was quite specific that people should keep their prayers to themselves.”