Scraping the biscuit barrel

broken biscuits

Jumping on the South Shields by-election bandwagon, UKIP have set up shop, in a shop, on King Street.  It’s tastefully decked out in posters and a couple of baloons.  Classy.  The shop was formerly a branch of Bay Biscuit Co, a now defunct Newcastle retailer specialising in broken and bargain biscuits.

Let’s ignore that UKIP’s position on climate change ignores the science.  Let’s ignore that UKIP’s position on equal marriage is as libertarian as the Pope’s.  Let’s ignore that UKIP representatives have a bad habit of failing to keep their promises.

The real question which voters should ponder in their analysis of the by-election candidate should be: if UKIP were a biscuit, what biscuit would it be?

Not Hobnobs, clearly that’s for the Tories, a party run by toffs.  Jammie Dodgers is more of Lib Dem biscuit, given their dodging tough decisions, their commitments and their principles.  Drifter seems designed for Labour, the party continually drifting from it’s original purpose.

No doubt a UKIP representative would consider a biscuit like a Breakaway, reflecting their desire to tear the UK from Europe.  Maybe Party Rings in a nod to South Tyneside UKIP councillor David Pott’s love for Bunga Bunga parties.  Or perhaps McVitie’s Gold  bars for UKIP’s nonsensical attachment to the gold standard.  I think maybe Jacob’s Odditities would be the most appropriate.  Or Jacob’s Crackers.

Or something with nuts in.

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7 responses to “Scraping the biscuit barrel”

  1. Peter W Skevington says :

    Well, makes a change from a charity shop or mobile phone shop. To be fair charity shops are a rich source of mint condition bargain secondhand books, as opposed to “secondhand policies ?” perhaps. Surely they have a sign that could obscure “Bay Biscuit”; sounds like the name of a Grand National runner, appropriate, bearing in mind the jumping over hurdles that all the candidates face during the next 3 weeks.

    • Kevin Rigg says :

      We need to be careful with our assessment of UKIP. My wife and I received leaflets via the post. Also the cost of renting a shop, and I understand they are fielding over 500 candidates. One thing this does indicate is that they have good funding. This translates into some of the richer classes leaving the Torys and pushing their money into UKIP. May have an impact on the marginals in a general election – could make it interesting.

  2. brian paget says :

    It’s not just the money. I have to admit that UKIP are working very hard in South Shields. They are very visible in King Street, more so than any other party. On Saturday, which is a key campaign day, they were out before the other parties (some for another candidate were camped out in Coffea Caban much of the morning), and were still there when the others had called it a day.

  3. Peter W Skevington says :

    Well, they failed to win the big biscuit; their campaign strategy and choice of candidates in the two local by elections should prove interesting. Could Farage solve the traffic, parking and occasional flooding problems in C and EB over a pint? Watch this space…

  4. Peter W Skevington says :

    Well, three have taken the biscuit and joined the party, must be something tasty to enjoy.

    • brian paget says :

      It seems they’re happy with being part of an organisation which is anti science and anti equal rights. I think what they’ve done is unfair on their ward. None of the people in their wards voted for them as party political entities – they voted for them as independents. They should step down and there should be by elections to let the people of those wards decide if they’re happy with their new hard right allegiances.

      • Peter W Skevington says :

        Agree; will be interesting to see how they perform in the two by elections. Wonder how many CAFs and PACTs their two candidates have attended.

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