Pope whuppin’

In most other cases in genteel society you would be frowned upon for a bit of S&M, especially you’re just doing the S bit on your own.  But for previous Lamb of God, Pope John Paul Ringo II, a bit of self whipping, rather than being something you do with an orange in your mouth and a plastic bag over your head, is your first rung on the ladder to becoming a saint.  When most people treat self harming as a sign of a serious mental health disorder, the Church of Rome consider it to be a most holy of holies.

“In his closet, among his vestments, there was hung on a clothes hanger a particular kind of belt which he used as a whip”, we’re told.  I’m sure Ann Summers and Adam&Eve have just the thing for the aspiring saint.

Apparently Johnny boy whipped himself up so he could suffer in the same way Jesus did, and this, along with a miracle, will gain the old boy sainthood.  Michael Hutchence, David Carradine and a Tory MP whose name I can’t remember, actually died in personal tortuous circumstances, although I’m not sure if any miracles have been ascribed to them.  However, in their favour Hutchence was a cool 90s sex machine and Carradine was Grasshopper (and Bill).  Admittedly the other guy was a Tory.

Presumably though, only JP qualifies as he didn’t crack one off at the same time.



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